SIX REASONS WHY MOST RELATIONSHIPS FAIL AND HOW TO AVOID YOURSELF THE PAIN

Don’t take offense, nor allow anyone to stop you from developing yourself and making your dreams a true realization. They’re simply scared to lose you. It’s the only way they know to keep you, by trying to hold you down and or hurting you. If they knew how to do more, they would, but they don’t. If you evolve and begin to see yourself for who you truly are and have the potential of becoming, you will take it upon yourself to remove anyone and everything that doesn’t contribute to your growth and happiness.

Logically, they should acknowledge, respect, contribute to your well being, and additionally ask you to help them rise to your level, but unfortunately, most don’t reason with positive intent and or emotions. Why? They weren’t raised to do so and because the dominating emotions which drive them are negative. They can’t even open up to the idea of positive change. They are prisoners to their very own emotions. It’s simple! We are either being led by negative, positive emotions, or a combination of both.

It’s important to understand that nobody came into this world with the intention of hurting and rejecting you. Like I say:

“PEOPLE ARE ONLY DOING WHAT THEY KNOW

HOW TO DO WITH WHAT THEY CURRENTLY POSSESS.

— Emmanuel Quesada

No, I’m not saying you have to excuse their behavior or much less allow yourself to continue being belittled. I am however suggesting you excuse yourself from becoming offended or being brought down any further. I’m suggesting you take responsibility for the position you’ve put yourself in. I am encouraging you to demand from those who try and hold you back to begin respecting you and your desire to grow. It’s my desire to empower you to make the decision to remove from your inner circle anyone that chooses not to grow as you do and doesn’t contribute to your growth and the happiness of your future. Anyone who doesn’t allow you to use your God-given ability to love and express yourself every day whenever you choose must be distanced if you desire to grow, be happy, be loved, love as you wish, and make your dreams a reality.

Logically, one mustn’t allow themselves to become offended or stopped from expressing their love and or from growing in every sector of their life, but most do anyway. Why? Same reason. They weren’t raised to see themselves for who they truly are and have the potential of becoming. They have little love to self. Many have been blinded and manipulated, caused to believe they are not worthy of growth or love. It’s sad, but our human race is becoming selfish, more and more. What quality of emotions do you think drive selfishness? That’s right, negative emotions. I believe it’s time for loving and giving people to be more selfish. Selfish in not allowing themselves to be mistreated and walk away so they can experience true love and protect their energy which is needed to make dreams become a reality.

I believe it’s time that people of purpose and positive intent rise to their calling and not have to apologize for kindly removing those who do them harm and hold them back. But many will argue, “You chose to be with that person, now you must put up with them. Or, that’s your mom, dad, brother, etc., you must deal with it. You must be patient in helping them transition because you love them.” I agree and disagree.

I believe we must give those we love the opportunity and support to rise and become better human beings, but not at the expense of getting hurt, losing love for ourselves, and or losing sight of our dreams and the person we are intending and destined to become.

Most, like me at the age of 22, make the mistake of entering a relationship without knowing (possessing) much, then realize months or years later that we chose to be with someone we have very little in common with, no mutuality.

Sure, we shared much common interest when we met, but as I began to develop, discover who I was at the core of my soul, and discover my purpose, we no longer had anything in common. Disconnections happen naturally. Of course, we tried to meet half ways in the name of love, but that doesn’t always work. As a matter of fact, for most, it doesn’t. Truth is that for most of us that find ourselves sitting in the office of Relationship Council, it’s too late. We come to discover we married the wrong person. Not wrong as in they are wrong or you are right, but simply, you are no longer compatible. Weak and misleading council will advise couples to settle or compromise.

For me and my ex-wife, it was best to go our own separate ways in harmony with each other. My purpose and calling didn’t interest her. She loved what I use to do before discovering my purpose, but not the calling I had discovered, and that’s okay. Additionally, we had hurt each other so much in the process of trying to get each other to understand and support our new way of being. The hurt wasn’t so much the problem as forgiving came easy to us both, however, mutuality was no longer. Today she is with someone who doesn’t have the amount of responsibility that my purpose calls for and is truly happy and I am with someone who is in love with my calling and me hers. My vision was much too grand. She didn’t want the responsibility my vision required. This doesn’t make her any lesser than I or me more than her. She’s an amazing wife and mother. We simply were no longer compatible.

Why hold onto someone knowing they will be much happier with someone else whom they share more in common with and will be able to spend more time. You’ll see way too many people forcing someone to be with them, not happy with each other because of the unwise counsel, what religions say, and incomplete books on relationship advice. Don’t get me wrong, there are some relationships which can be resolved and where love can be rekindled. However, one must know how much they should compromise and settle and why they are doing so. A religion, children, rules set forth by a weak system set forth by society, or what others will think are invalid reasons to settle and compromise. I do not promote divorce or separations, I promote HAPPINESS.

Why do we make the mistake of engaging in relationships which will end up in dissatisfaction?

1. We fail to develop our selves and discover what qualities make our genuine and authentic self, which includes learning to love ourselves so that we aren’t looking for someone to complete us, but rather compliment us. Also includes becoming emotionally intelligent/strong, and we lack insight.

2. We fail to first identify what a strong and healthy relationship looks like and is intended to do in our lives.

3. We fail to understand how to lead a long life relationship.

4. We fail to make a solid subconscious connection between relationships and true love. If you witnessed mom and dad fighting often, your subconscious mind associates relationships with pain and you’ll attract someone who will cause you to be in pain.

5. We fail to describe the qualities we truly want in the person we will spend the rest of our lives with.

6. We fail to understand mutuality.

The dominant emotions which drive a person who is constantly trying to hurt, stunt somebody’s growth, and or blind others from seeing all the greatness that lies within are negative. It’s not difficult to understand what quality of emotions are driving someone, simply observe their tonality, behavior, and decisions.

It’s your job to reason wisely, not lose sight or touch with your good side, and to not become offended by those who try and bring you down. If you continue to take offense, the very emotions which drive them will soon drive you and you will lose touch with the great side of you and find yourself stuck with people who don’t have the ability to measure or value the caliber of persona.

Nobody has the right to hurt or stop you from evolving into the person you are truly intended to become. If someone is hurting you, take responsibility, you are allowing it. It’s your responsibility to seek help if you can’t find it within yourself to stop mental or physical abuse. Not allowing you to realize your full potential and make dreams a reality is abuse in itself. When we are forced to suppress our gifts and dreams, our identity bleeds and we begin to create negative emotions of regret, anger, and resentment.

By now, you should have a greater level of awareness and understanding as to why certain people choose to hold you down and or hurt you. You are now aware of why you or others allow others to stop and or hurt you. Now that you are aware, you should be empowered to begin taking the next steps to either influence a positive change within yourself and then the people who hurt and or try to stop you. If they choose not to admit to their wrongs, you have every right to walk away or distance from family members, far enough where you can continue to grow and advance in every sector of your life.

Lastly, this article gives you full insight as to what to do before beginning to seek and attract the right person into your life. Click the link below for more information on how to attract the right person into your life.

HOW TO ATTRACT THE RIGHT PERSON

As always, if you are having a difficult time performing any of the above, contact me for performance and results coaching.

Be blessed and be a blessing! Never lose sight of who you truly are and are intended to become!